Tuesday, December 20, 2005
I can see fireworks way too often through my window, even in summertimes. why? I have lost all the excitement about new years eve now. There`s nothing special about it anymore. It used to be the fireworks at midnight that everyone were waiting on new years eve. And even then they start firing too early, you can hear bangs several hours earlier. drives me mad!
And the christmas!!! I`m glad it`s only few days away, so now everone could calm down with this madness. They started it in the end of october!!! christmas songs, christmas shopping, christmas decoration, christmas christmas christmas.....
I´m not really against all that. I just think that the holiest of all days are those kept by ourselves in silence and apart; the secret anniversaries of the heart.
But to all of you who happen to read this - I wish you can spend christmas with the close ones you love, and celebrate the new year`s eve in the greatest way among greatest people!!
(it MIGHT be my last post, as this blog was actually one of the assignments for my "computer assisted journalism" course. It`s over now, and I`m not sure whether I should continue with it or not.)
All the best to you all!!!
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Drivers are still not careful enough, and ofcourse many of them don`t really care if a pedestrian wants to cross the road or not. Standing on side of the road, on zebra crossing, you can wait a long time before any car stops to let you through. I`ve had several situations where I was almost hit by a car. Roads with more than one line are especially dangerous, the first-line car notices and stops while the second-line car is questionable and so on. Every day can be the "judgment day". Scary! you have to take your chances by simply crossing roads.
I studied in a highschool where it was compulsory to study religion. I have other things to believe in rather than God. So I was quite annoyed because of that. Luckily we had a very neutral teacher and the subject just covered the general beliefs of different religions. We weren`t pushed to believe in anything.
But I still think that a person will study the given subject independently if one is intereseted in it. And a student with a strong belief in some religion can feel very frustrated in class while discussing other ways of beliefs. And everything also depends on the teacher.
Ministry should be really careful with such a decision. (perhaps: "yes to teaching religion, no to religious propaganda")
There`s a show on Estonian tv channel called " The glory of Estonia". It`s a show where they honor the people who have voluntarily helped Estonian society. For instance, there are so many of them who are trying to help homeless, who have saved lives, and so on. I`m glad that the channel is doing something like that.
I have a friend who does charity. He supports disabled children. On his birthday he told in advance to all his guests that instead of presents they should put the money (that was meant for presents) on the bank account of two boys in wheelchairs. They each got about 11 thousand krouns thanks to that birthday party. One of the boys could buy a new wheelchair now, which he badly needed.
I´m happy that there really are people, selfless people, who care a lot about others, help them, and don`t want anything in return.
(huuh, I got it out of myself, I can go on now)
Saturday, December 10, 2005
I happend to over hear one interesting conversation. It was between two little russian children, a boy and a girl, both about 6 years old.
* * *
girl: "do you know what `sex´ means?"
girl: "it`s the same as fucking, hi-hi-hiii !" (sorry for swearing but that`s what she said)
girl: "have you ever had sex?"
boy: "yes, once in a kindergarten"
* * *
I guess it was just little kids exploring their sexuality and it`s not wrong. But I was just shocked about the words they used. They learn it from people they are surrounded with. And I´ve heard it myself (too many times) how carelessly parents can talk around their children. And that`s sad!
Few years ago a 10-year-old accidentaly killed himself from a sports gun.
Children are unstable, especially boys who like fooling around with everything.
If it`s not allowed for a 15-year-old to drive a car not even with assistance, then it`s not rational and not safer to give dangerous guns in the hands of a 12-year-old. They should be enjoying their childhood at that age and get ready for teenage, explore themselves. Are we preparing for somekind of a war? Do we need to enlarge Estonian army on account of children?
I wish they reconsidered..
Friday, December 09, 2005
Monday, December 05, 2005
Is it really that kind of reputation we, Estonian women, have?
Those who stand for nothing, fall for anything..
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Another childish image created by male representers. I`ve never seen women peeing on streets. Why is that? (no-one should feel offended by that, only if the person is one of those place markers on the streets where I walk everyday). That kind of images also create our reputation in the eyes of foreigners...
Thursday, November 24, 2005
He also said that a lot of fire fighters work on two places, mostly as builders and taxidrivers. These men are our rescuers. Where is this country headed???? one day they are just not gonna be there when the fire takes off...
Well, let me remind you the numbers of salaries of the people working in medical, educational, salvage services, etc. I mentioned them earlier in "can`t bear very much reality". those workers should work about 8 months without expenditure to be able to afford that kind of thing. Doesn`t the government have anything better to do with the money. Whenever some organisation needs governmental support the answer is mostly the same, the state budget doesn`t have enough money.
Does prime minister really have the time for discovering that masterpiece well enough to make him wiser... I believe all that kind of information is also available in internet these days. Some public school would make much more use of that unbelievable encyclopedia.
Monday, November 21, 2005
Our government is planning to increase tuition fees in universities. The purpose is to bring up the reputation of Estonian educational level and keep students from leaving their home country. Hey, you, men sitting in chairs of power! Have you ever been a student and having to take bank loans? a student maybe, but apparently not in need for loans. And if otherwise, then you should know that it will make even harder for families to educate their children. Oh, banks will be so pleased, they can make the loans higher and get more clients coming in. juhuuu!! I guess there`s not enough families who will be paying their debts for the rest of their lives; there`s not enough poverty in this country; there`s not enough young people who can`t afford higher education. It`s almost equal to study in other Eu countries, don`t you think that higher tuition fees will push even more youth away from home? Anyway, I´m one of those students who has taken loans from a bank and I am planning to leave Estonia. To earn money for school (I can`t watch my parents going crazy when counting those big sums) and also to live normally apart from school,because it`s not possible to earn good money next to studies. All you can count on in this country is you, yourself and your ego. Work, work harder, earn money , pay taxes, but don`t hope do get anything back, no way! oh yeah, sorry, I forgot, there`s gonna be higher educational level!
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Did you know that paramedics` ambulance cardrivers get only 3500 krouns a month. Therefore most of them work also as taxidrivers. So there`s always a possibility, that, when you are taken to hospital in an ambulance car, the driver is exhausted from last night`s taxidriving. Better to let your mom to take you to the hospital, or call a taxi...
what about teachers who hold the education of our children in their hands. They get about 5000. It`s almost impossible to find a math, physics,chemistry teacher when the former one retires. it`s especially problematic in smaller towns. And the government is worried about the future of education because there`s less and less young people who are willing to study teaching. so why the hell don`t you do anything about it?
And I`m not gonna even mention the loss of doctors in our country!
I was waitressing for some time..I didn`t have higher education...and I earned much more (plus tips). Where`s the rationality?! the wiser you are the less you get from it? one is sure..I´m never gonna work in civil service!!!
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
some troublesome facts from an article about Estonian healthcare. Who can read Estonian and is interested: http://www.ettk.ee/et/kommentaarid/2005/09/item21637 . For others a short overview:
- deathrate caused by heart- and haemal diseases 3 times higher than EU average;death from cancer, a third higher; number of men dying from exogenous causes- 4 times higher; number of women dying from endocervical- and breast cancer - 3 times higher
- from our 5000 doctors every 5th is over-60-year-old
- in EU the ideal norm is 1 nurse per 100 people. in Estonia there`s 1 nurse per 225 people.
- salary in finnish medical sphare is 7 times higher than in estonia (I wonder where have all the doctors gone)
therefore in Estonia we have the longest waiting times ever just to get to see a doctor - people have to wait for their ear-nose-throat surgeries for 2 years; queues to specialists are several months longer than they were few years ago.
Quite sad, isn`t it!
The main question of the research was "did you like the life in Soviet Union more than now?". And guess what, half of the non-Estonians found the life to be better under Russian power. A THIRD of Estonians agreed with that half. I mean...people...don`t you remember? I´m still very young, but I do remember. I remember standing in a very long line with a food stamp..to get the last bread. I remember my grandma telling me she was in jail...just in case... Don`t you remember that people were deportated to Siberia?
I mean...I`m half Russian and I have nothing against Russia itself...but really...come on people!
I feel insulted.. (and just in the last post I was explaining how desperately you would need help with learning our language... damn)
Estonians who have been to some Lasnamäe`s (city district of Tallinn) little basement stores, visited some wierd looking bar in Kopli (also a part of the town) or visited Narva...they know that you can`t deal there with Estonian language. It`s an everlasting problem of our country.
I´m not blaming them for not knowing the language (ofcourse the younger generation should learn it at school), but it`s also a fault of our government. Studying Estonian has become extremely expensive. it`s a known fact that Russians, who don`t speak EStonian, have very low salaries. So ofcourse they can`t afford any language courses.
there`s 75 000 workers in Tallinn , with Russian background and not speaking Estonian. All of them have to face the same problems - lack of money and fear to fail the exam, because the government is not the one who pays for language courses. And because of that most of them don`t even try to take that step.
I think that we should give the people, who wish to learn our language, a compensation for studies. It will make their life here easier and also help us to keep our official language.In that way Russians will understand us better and perhaps the anger between nations will decrease, because at this point Russians and Estonians are fighting with each-other like white and black people, blaming other in racism. If there`s something we could do about it, then this is something that would work - free language courses.
Limits of one`s language means the limits of one`s world.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
I spent this weekend in eastern-Estonia. The part of the country, which is populated mostly by russians,where the cruelest crimes happen, where all streets look so miserable. And that is not said in a rassist way, cuz I´m myself half russian,these are just the facts.
The words of O.Wilde are just the right ones to describe that part of Estonia. The only difference is that people living in that hell don`t really see it like that. Even more, it`s absolutely normal to live that way.
Teenage girls giving birth and not graduating from highschools, boyfriends beating them up; looking out of the window you can see little children running around in dirty clothes, spitting everywhere, taking adults as an example; A lot of old dirty and stinking men drinking on streets 24h a day; homeless pets running around everywhere; youth gathering in basements for smoking and taking drugs; third grade boys drinking alcohol during breaks; schoolparties (if they are not forbidden yet) ending with deadly knifewounds.......I can go on and on.....all that is so normal in everyday life in eastern part of towns.
I know all that...because I have lived in it for sometime.... And yet the place I lived in is quite little,with population of about 2500. And people who are not hoping anything from life will stay there till the day they die and while alive... they create hell for themselves and for their offsprings.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
I forgot to add another documentary that I`ve seen myself and which is really worth watching. "Eve and Dawn" is made by Tarmo Rajaleid, graduate from our school (International University Concordia Audentes). "There is goodness in the world.... human story about two women who are contrary just like eve and dawn"..
Like I already said, I`ve seen the film and highly recommend others to watch it when you get a chance. You can see the free preview of the film by clicking "tasuta eelvade" on https://www.itv.ee/portal/filmid.aspx?id=3205 or if you wish to see the full film it costs you 18 krouns by clicking VAATA 18kr.( it`s with english subtitles) I can assure you, the documentary is amazing, full of unbelievable things.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
I haven`t seen the film yet, but I will try to find it from somewhere. If any one has already seen it, I`d be glad to hear your commentaries.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
One can be young and without money but not old and without it. You can see poverty reflecting mostly on elderly people in Estonia. Lets take beggars on the streets of Tallinn for example, only few of them are youngsters, the ones who have given up and need money for drugs. Others mostly old and don`t have enough financial support for buying food.
The woman on the photo was begging for money in front of the shopping center. She noticed me taking pictures with my camera and asked me to take few of her. I did, and she was so exited about it, like no one has ever taken a photo of her. I really like this portrait, she made an effective model.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Being well is what counts... (approximately every 10th person in Estonia is declared disabled)
Older generation of Estonians are so weak and most of them sick. And I think it`s not just the age. It`s also the conditions they had to live in when they were younger. And they were working physically very hard. And now there`s strong consequences. They don`t live half as good as swedes or finnish elderly people for example. And yet they worked so hard. So much labour was put into moving the mountains and a silly little mouse was born. I have 2 grandmothers and I´m really glad that they have all the support of their children, otherwise I couldn`t even imagine how they would get by with this ridiculously small amount of money they get from the government. It`s sad! They deserve better!
Let`s take this man on the photo for example. He`s blind! The support money he get`s from this country is 2100 krouns pension and 600 for disability. And over 1000 krouns goes straightly back to the government for taxes. So he must live with 1500 krouns (100 euros) a month. How can that be possible?!? He had to do something to survive, so he started playing accordion on streets (He had to get permission from the government by the way). It`s considered as his business and according to the law he should pay taxes from this income as well. I mean...WHAT?!?
Monday, October 10, 2005
After 1995, the state started gradually developing. People were showing much stronger initiative. General state of life was getting better. Life in Estonia stayed relatively stable until 1998, when consequences of economical crisis in Russia declined again the rate of employment. Fortunately the nation was strong enough to get out of that "hole" after 2 years of struggle. Estonians are known as hardworkers.
Now they(we) have joined European Union. It has it`s pros and cons, but I see it as slowly giving up our independence. Differences between social classes have become so big. Expenditure wins over income. Poverty rate is too high, 35% of the population. It`s getting extremely expensive to live here, for some even impossible.
Well..here I am. 22-year-old audiovisual media student from Estonia - trying to figure out what am I doing here.
I´ve tried several times to leave this country and somehow it just doesn`t work that way. Once I made it to england, but returned after half a year. Estonia is beautiful, it`s my home, it`s my family... and yet, in my eyes, the country is still so miserable. I`m going to try to go away again next year. Maybe I can keep myself away from here at least a year, and then, when I come back, perhaps everything here in Estonia will look better and more developed. This is how I see it from here...